July 08, 2003
did you do this ?
here it is, the fugly 412 after a visit to mister MOT. investigating the 'corrosion to o/s & n/s rear inner wheel arch' i discovered that the MOT tester needed glasses. the 'o/s & n/s rear inner wheel arch' is made of expanding foam filler covered with p38 chopped strand. how could it be rusty ?
did you do this ? did you really look at it and think, 'that needs welding, i know i'll fill it with a spray can of expanding foam. that's a good idea'
do people really live their lives like this ?
hmmm.. on reflection, they do don't they ?
ah well.
to start back at the beginning,
i set off in the 412 EARLY for the mot appointment on the other side of town, possibly two miles away. i thought i get some petrol and have the opportunity to take the long route there.
wrong
the petrol station is half a mile from my house.
i never made it.
i stalled it at the traffic lights two hundred yards from the petrol station and guess what ? flat battery, and it's an auto box so no bump start! my friend dan delors from the most excellent band 'the mighty ging' saved the day.
of course when i got to the petrol station i though i'd back it up and fill the tyres with air.
wrong
i stalled it again. being an auto one puts ones foot down and then the car thinks about what it wants to do. this one wants to go home and sulk. if it were a person it would be a petulant five year old that knows it's in control and is is going to make you suffer, just for the hell of it.
dan delors returned to save the day but to no avail, the 412 was havign none of it. it would not fire.
so off i got to get the trusty bus and blat round town collecting things, including a rather swank 'mobile power unit' (a battery in a box with a charger and a lighter socket to me and you) return to the 412 and guess what ? starts first time, but you guessed that didn't you ?
only an hour late for the MOT this time...
took a woirng turn and it stalled at the lights. wont start. the police cruise past about five times, me with no tax, no mot and no documents in a car that looks, and drives, like an orthopedic shoe - an orthopedic car they decide not to investigate no further, looks like too much paperwork.
not broken down, just resting.
eventually it fires and i get to the MOT station. i leave itm feeling embarrased and sorry for the mot tester and promise i will actually return to collect it.
some time later
i cycle over to collect the car, it's in a different parking place, that must mean that they actually got it to move !
i collect the anticipated fail sheet and it's not to bad !
(this must be a volkswagen thing! it failed on 4 spots of corrosion, lights, tyres (mixed sizes) seat belts, seats and ...
actually that's it!
no too bad thought I. passed on windscreen wipers and brakes, and on somethig else. i just can't think what.
so back to chez akciddento.
in rush hour.
thought the city centre
the rest writes itself doesn't it?
well....
yes it did stall, yes it was in bumper to tail traffic, yes it was on that bit of dual carriage way though the centre of town, yes it was in the underpass.
yes the battery was flat
BUT! the marvel of having the battery under the passenger seat meant that with only a little frantic swearing and scrabbling i got the power unit connected up and guess what ? it fired !
the rest was plain sailing.
back in the yard, fixed the lights in half an hour, adjusted the headlamps, changed the wheels, found the front rust hole, blocked drain hole in inner wing small plate no problem.
then...
EXPANDING FILLER!
you should be ashamed of yourself.
something interesting that i did find from the days adventures while trying to track/fix the source of the airleak inthe fuelk injection system. you can't use gaffer tape while wearing surgical gloves. they keep your hands clean but the gaffer tape sticks to them and when you pull it off it rips the finger tips of the gloves off. then when you try and wrap the tape round anyting it's all lumpy with the bits of ripped off glove finger tip underneath.
not very satisfactory